Is that regret I see in your eyes?

I thought Gordy conquered his addiction, I really did. I boasted to all my friends and family that he had not eaten anything of mine since my black leather Vera Wang purse (shudder). See, Gordy had.... ok I guess he's back on the wagon so HAS a problem. He likes to eat things that he should not eat, and he has this uncanny ability to know what particular items would really get to me. It's like he's testing me to see if I will kick him out to wander the street alone. He has eaten several purses, five, count them FIVE pairs of gap leather flats (I loved them, I bought them in every color...he ate them in every color) two bibles (awful... I know, I've told him he needs to reconcile that one with God), a couple pairs of sandals, a couple of towels, a watch, and well the list really goes on and on...but he was CLEAN, he was off the junk! And then I returned from one of my trips to find that Gordy had done something he had never done before.... eaten a Government issued document, my passport. What in the world would possess a dog to eat a passport??? There is no sense in it! I think he really was mad about me leaving to he is trying to keep me from doing it again. Well I'm going to China in May, so now I'm in a frenzy to get a new one. Here is a photo the culprit, I'm keeping this in case I decide to press charges... for evidence you know. If you could see his eyes I can promise you that you would not see regret there... he doesn't care even a little bit. In fact he looks a little smug doesn't he? Like "what? you got somethin to say?!" He's probably downstairs right now plotting how to eat the leather sofa...